We have found a couple of A4 sheets written by Camellia a few months before her passing. They have kindly been translated by Chinese friends;

  “I am very fond of reading, especially in mathematics and physics subjects; I have always  loved and enjoyed thinking and problem solving.  Went to the church three years ago, I deeply loved to hear the preacher’s teachings and sometimes I was so deeply touched unconsciously with tears in my eyes helplessly.  when I calmed down I often asked myself “whether I did choose to believe in Jesus”?  Evolution and scientific theory are still to stop me going further.  As something can’t be seen and not be proven, how can they be believed in?  

I wonder for what the purpose the life is, making more money? Or raise children up successfully? Or just being a happy being?  I also very much want to be happy and contented, however helplessly I just can’t make myself to be calm and satisfied.

Until now I am very sick, this made me realise how tiny and small myself is; this world will still be the same without my existence.  This horror and despair made me realise that there are things which are absolutely beyond my controls and capability.  Nevertheless I have always known what is next on my life journey, but now what is the next?

Kit sisters and the preacher taught me how to pray and instructed in Bible chapter 11 and 10 paragraph: “ all you prayed for, which you can get; what you look for, which you can find; knock on the door, which the door would open for you”.  Chapter 6 paragraph 33: “ you must firstly plea for my kingdom and my will and all the things will be granted to you all”.

Whenever encountering the difficulties and unable to make decisions and judgement and/or feeling weak and be frightened, I then always sincerely pray and pray for courage and wisdom.  I have passed on my burdens to the God and now I feel peaceful and joyful.” 

Now that the God arranged my life for me, I am willingly to accept and enjoy whatever I was given by the God.  What I was given today - my lovely heart felt family; my truthful friends, everything is so beautiful just like gorgeous blossoms; like my understanding kitty.  What else am I asking for?  Tomorrow’s worries let’s leave them to tomorrow.”